He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
