Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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