Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
