I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
