I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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