Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
There's always time for handjobs
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
