When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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