I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
