Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
