Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
