i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
