Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
