people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
