About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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