just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
