after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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