yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
