Define "chronic" masturbator.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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