chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
