Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
