When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
