capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
