this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
