You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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