too bad you live with your parents still
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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