Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
