lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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