I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize