I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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