Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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