We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
