you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
