Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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