I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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