my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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