ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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