Screwed.edu
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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