Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
