Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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