It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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