This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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