The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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