Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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