No stitches, just platelets and will power
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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