I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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