Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
