Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
