I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
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Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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