Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
