I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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