We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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