I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
