I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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