I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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