his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
