I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
