you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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