I feel like abortions should bother me more
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I understand Curling. That high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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