I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
