Screwed.edu
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
